Lagi

DugaanNYA datang mengetuk emosi aku lagi.
Semalam subuh jam 3pagi Nenek diserang Deman kuat lagi-mengigil buat aku cuak nk menangis!
Tak pernah tgk dia sakit camtu. Penat balik offline sehari suntuk tak ilang lagi & mengantok aku ketepikan. Terus bawak Nenek ke PPUM Emergency with my two Lil' Bro *Thank ALLAH i hv 'em around*.

Doktor amik darah, result 4jam kemudian ye. humm dalam keadaan separuh sedar tu, dok tgk nenek terlantar kt emergency tu sgt2 x besh rasenye. Dahlah duk kt emergency kan, menjerit2 terlolong org2 yg kes trauma kat situ, selang 10 minit ade je bunyi ambulan bawak org2 kemalangan, sakit jantung bla bla bla lagilah buat aku tak keruan. haishh... I HATE HOSPITAL!

Tunggu punye tunggu Adeq Yull dah tertido kat kerusi luar tu.Sian adik aku. Jam dah dekat 6am, x de lagi result sama ade nenek kena Denggi ke or any critical disease or kena admit ke tak? Tuhan je la tau betape risaunye aku. Keep on prayin she gonna be ok. Insyaallah.

Then, around 7am, result out,Doktor kate she ok cume demam kuat & at her age of 78 dah tak leh tahan badan panas sgt sebab tu mengigil. Alhamdulillah & dia boleh balik. Syukur sgt.

Around 11am balik Umah, bagi nenek makan obat & etc. Aku sempat lena dlm 2jam before ke opiz for Online editing. Alhamdulillah walaupon mate berpinau penat tak hengat sempat jugak abis editing dalam jam 6.30pm.

Today, nenek stabil & aku seperti biase ade online editing nak settlekan semua. Malaz nk pikir dah.Tak keruanlah idup aku kebelakangan ni dgn keje + famly + sakit & semua Dugaan-dugaanNYA. Satu je aku mintak , hopefully ALLAH kuatkan semangat aku hadapi semua ni dgn waras. Insyaallah...Insyaallah HE'll show me the way. AMIN.

Insya-Allah.

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Everytime you commit one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that its way too late
Your’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah we’ll find the way


Artist: Maher Zain
Album: Thank You Allah
Lyrics: Maher Zain & Bara Kherigi

Hurt + Unintended

Ujian

3 SEBAB ALLAH MENGUJI MANUSIA

1. KIFARAH

Kifarah adalah ujian ke atas orang yang baik tetapi terlanjur melakukan kejahatan. Maka ketika ketika itulah ia diuji oleh Allah. Tuhan menjadikan kesusahan dalam ujian itu sebagai tebusan untuk menghapuskan dosa dan keterlanjurannya.

Ertinya, Tuhan membalas kesalahannya di dunia untuk melepaskannya dari balasan di Akhirat. Ini adalah lebih baik kerana azab di dunia adalah lebih ringan berbanding azab di Akhirat. Dengan kifarah orang baik itu akan mendapat peringatan dan amaran atas kesalahan dan keterlanjurannya lalu bertaubat kepada Allah.

"Dan Kami timpakan kepada mereka azab supaya mereka kembali ke jalan yang benar(Az-Zukhruf : 48)"

2. BALA

Yakni ujian ke atas orang jahat yang sedang melakukan kejahatan. Allah jadikan ujian itu sebagai hukuman di dunia sebelum dihukum di Akhirat dengan hukuman yang lebih berat. Dengan kemurkaanNya Allah turunkan kepedihan di dunia lagi sebelum diazab di neraka. Mereka akan diazab dua kali, pertama di dunia dan kedua di negeri Abadi.

Ringkasnya, bala ialah bentuk ujian ke atas orang jahat yang sedang melakukan kejahatan. Umat Nabi Nuh ditenggelamkan banjir, Firaun ditelan Laut merah, Qarun ditelan bumi, kaum ¡®Aad, Tsamud oleh hujan batu dan bencana alam yang lain.

"Dan jika mereka berpaling (ingkar), Allah akan menyeksa mereka dengan azab seksa yang tidak terperi sakitnya di dunia dan di akhirat dan mereka tidak akan mendapat sesiapa pun di bumi ini, yang akan menjadi pelindung dan juga yang menjadi penolong. (At-Taubah : 74)"

3. IBTILA'

Ini adalah ujian terhadap orang baik yang sedang melakukan kebaikan. Ini adalah tanda kasih-sayang Allah kepada hambaNya yang taat. Justeru dengan Ibtila hamba itu akan mendapat pahala dan ditinggikan pula darjatnya di sisi Tuhan.

Jika tidak diuji, bagaimana hamba yang taat itu hendak mendapat pahala sabar, syukur, reda, pemaaf, qanaah dari Tuhan. Maka dengan ujian bentuk inilah ada kalangan para Rasul ditingkatkan ke darjat Ulul Azmi yakni mereka yang paling gigih, sabar dan berani menanggung ujian.

Ringkasnya, Ibtila ialah ujian ke atas orang baik yang sedang melakukan kebaikan. Golongan para Nabi, siddiqqin, syuhadaq dan solehin adalah mereka yang sentiasa diuji dalam bentuk Ibtila ini. "Adakah patut kamu menyangka bahawa kamu akan masuk Syurga, padahal belum sampai kepada kamu (ujian dan cubaan) seperti yang telah berlaku kepada orang-orang yang terdahulu daripada kamu?

Mereka telah ditimpa kepapaan (kemusnahan harta benda) dan serangan penyakit serta digoncangkan (oleh ancaman bahaya musuh), sehingga berkatalah Rasul dan orang-orang yang beriman yang ada bersamanya: Bilakah (datangnya) pertolongan Allah?

Ketahuilah sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu dekat
(asalkan kamu bersabar dan berpegang teguh kepada agama Allah). (Al-Baqarah : 214)"

E.m.O

Ye, minggu ineh adalah minggu Emo saye *Super-Emo*

Humm, hormon tak stabil as usuals.

1st, pi dentist-got-tat-uncomfortable separators.

2nd, Doctor really sahkan aku ade gigi 'Miracle' tertanam dibwah rahang *2nd time X-ray* dan WAJID dikeluarkan dgn minor surgery ASAP! k. Urgh. aku x suke main bedah2 ni la. Iskk Jarum is my biggest enemy! Dymn. no choice kena buat jugak.fine.*Sighs!*

3rd, Humm ni yg buat my whole week so-so so-SUPER mendung berarak kelabuz. ;( *SOB2!*

Balik umah dgn gigi yg berdenyut dek separators, He told me the Shocking news! aku rase cam nk pengsan je. Seriosly its NOT Funny. i was devastated! heart crushed into million pieces i was SUPER-SUPER_SEBAK! My Brother nak kawen NOOOO!!!! ;(

I know i shouldn't acting like a kid, but its juz come naturally. Time flies & didn't realize my 2nd Bro is growing so fast. He is takin one step ahead in his life soon then i am * that is the kesian part of all!* ;( i am totally LOST when he told me he is settling down by next year. Goshhh... cant accept the truth , am makin fools of myself askin all those stupid questions to him 'kenape awal sgt??' dah kompom dia ke??? dah cukop semua??? this is NOT a trial ok??? bla bla bla & all the shits & unnecessary remarks i gave to him juz to show them am protesting.Silly me.

Hopeless, evting is done by him already. Even he alreadu booked a Hall! @ Bukit Damansara ;( ;( *nak PENGSAN* &&& to make it wrost is--------- he choosed the same fuken date when the 'IDIOTZ' left & ripped my heart apart 4 years back on 13 Feb!!! WHY? WHY???

Yess, its already confirm 13 Feb 2011 my beloved brother will leave me to be with his wifey ;(

urghhh NO! still cannot accept the truth - i was crying like HELL that nite. Cant help it.

kenape kena pilih tarikh tu? tho like my mom said, tarikh tu tak berDOSE 7 semuanye kebetulan aje. Ya i know.. Maybe am being overly EMO & am SUPER SHOCKED that my Bro is really2 serious about this.haishhh

Its not like i dont love him, i want him to be happy on his Big day, i wanna be happy for him & go shoppin together with him buy all the weds stuff. BUT, at the moment i juz dont felt like yet,still blank & blur & am TRYING slowly to accept the truth that ALLAH already set evting for him & me. Glad that his Jodoh already say 'Helo' to him :) humm am prayin & hoping that my emotionally feelin will fade away till the Big day come.Hopefully-hopefully. Amin.

Achot & DeQ Yull :) <3

My Beloved Bodyguard soon gonna be only one left +_+

Alonk LOVE u guys so MUCH!

psttt! To u my dear Brother, dont get me wrong k, i LOVE u so much! knowing that u'll gettin married & whatnot to her is another story. but juz gimme sumtimes to catch my breath & i'll make sure u'll be the Happies person on dat day with ur crazie sista in action! :D.Insyaallah.

*didnt realize tears fallin heavily on my gebu cheeks... Sebak! ;( ;( ;( ;( *

Sepa-rators!

Got it 2day.
Sungguh tak selesa.
Its killin me.
Urgh.

am bored

with life
work
me
n
YOU
hummm

.Funneh?.

t's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
it's funny how forever never seems to last

it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past
it's funny how “friends” can just leave when you are down
it's funny how when you need someone they never are around

it's funny how people change and think they're so much better
it's funny how many lies are packed into one “love letter”
it's funny how one night can contain so much regret

it's funny how you can forgive but not forget
it's funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, is none of thats funny to me

Head-Banging-MODE!

HEART! 'em!

Abe Robin

Haritu dating dgn Abe Robin.

Oklah. So-so *for me lah*

Not my liking.

perang2+lekit2+ tak klala

biase2 ajew.

.L.O.s.T.

Lost in a world, that scares me to death,
Lost in a crowd I’m losing my breath,
Lost as a kid, lost as an adult

I feel everything is falling apart and its my fault
Lost as a person, cant find my way
Lost in life every day, Lost in worry

Who am I?
I’ve lived a Lie
Lost to Kindness,
Lost to Love
Lost in the sky,
Like a lonely dove
Lost in thought which I shouldn’t do
It Winds me up,

I can’t get through
Lost to comfort all kind words
Lost to advice that isn’t heard
Lost to those who really care?
All these people always there
Lost in Me, I need a break

Lost in wonder which road should I take?
Lost in a place I don’t know well
Where are you now? There’s no one to tell
Lost here all alone To break these walls

Lost in mind
Lost in soul
Lost memories, there just a hole
Lost YOU, lost my place
Still yet I’m full of hate
Lost in boredom think I’ll leave
There’s a lot in life I need to achieve

GOD, u with me right?

Black Maria Injured!

Haishhhh

My Beloved Black-Maria INJURED! LAGI?

Yup! & kali ni dah TOTAL Cacat dah aku nengok dia

Oh lupe laks Black-Maria tu keta mak nyah.

Bulan lepas baru tukar kaki dia yg asyik2 dok kempis-kempus tu dgn tayar baru *Kechinggg!$$$*

Calar Balr dek cakaran macam vinatang tak kire lagi tuh. adoi.

Belum lagi tgk tepi2 keta aku yg dikopek2 malaon mane tah.ish vavee tol.

Kes terbaru, Telinge dia plak terkulai layu-dua-dua blah plak tu! Qimeks tol laha**t mane yg cobak nk curik side-mirror aku kan?

Dah la tu, Babadom aku yg sgt prihatin telah memplasterkan telinge dia dgn double-selo- tape. bley?

ayohhhh dahlah sakit hati org dok pedajal keta aku , pastu klaka pon ade tgk gelagat Babadom aku tuh nk selamatkan telinge si Black Maria ni dari terkulai. Yelah sementara nk menunggu ujung bulankan.haha tampal je la dolu dari x de side mirror langsung. ahaha klaka-klaka. dah macam ape tah keta aku tu.plus, malu yallz, org tgk kotz bile benti kt terapik lite. Hanjj sungguh perasaan ituh.

Byk betol kehancuran & kekejaman yang berlaku terhadapnye. sian.

Sampaikan aku dah naik malaz nk betolkan ape2 dah. abis duet $$$$ *Keching!* pon ye jugak, pastu keta aku dirogol dek penyagak jgak.

aku pelik bebenor keta huduh buatan malaysia tu jugak yg dorang dok sibok nk kopakkan. Pi la cari keta2 obersea yg mantopz & bergaye tu. Ni tak keta cabuk aku tu jugak selalu menjadi pojaan hati mangkuk hayun kt luar sane tu.

Tak pe lah. aku dah numb-dah naik malaz nk pikir.

Lantok ke kamulah wahai penyagak keta. asal ko bahgie udah.

My Black Maria? Sabo ye sayang nnt Mommy dapat gaji dah kaye, Mommy buat Plastik segery ke kamu ye. * ke tukar baru jek?? hehe ish jahat sungguh aku*

Celak!

arghh! celak mak abis lagi nyah! dymnnn
abis satu opiz mak merayu-rayu mintak celak
i juz cant live without it lah.
mate aku dah la 'kuyu-stim-sepet' semacam je kan?
lagi2 kalau mai opiz pepagi mmg sah-sahlah sembab-separuh je.
ala2 gapil gitu katenyehh? haishh

so?? bile celak aku abis!
ianye satu malapetaka yg amat kritikel dlm idup aku cozzz???
mate aku akan nampak kuyu sepanjang hari & its annoying when people keep on tego 'asal mate ko? baru nangis eh? kak pija nape mate sembab? asal mate stim je?baru lepas nangis eh?
haishhhhhh Penat i olz nk menjawap- bukan salah i olz k mate i olz gini. cess

pikir2 nk kena buat pelestik surgery gamaknye le kalau gini ye senah? ahhaha LOL *banyaklah aku punye surgery kan?* or paling tidak pon standbykan batang mancis lepas ni nk letak kt mate kasi BESARRRRRR punyerrrrr. kan?

nak beli celak-nak beli celak-nak beli celak-nak beli celak-nak beli celak-nak beli celak!

i.LOVE.U.Momma!

This song specially dedicated to my Lovely Mommeh Madam Lina Othman. ♥

Momma, TQ 4 everything u've done for me,
TQ 4 always be there 4 me thru my Pain & my Joy,
TQ 4 always be patient with my stubbornness,
TQ 4 always be supportive & understanding mother eva,
TQ 4 for everything!
You r my Bestfrend-My Shoulder to cry-My Everything

Happy Mother's Day Mommeh! I ♥ YOU SO MUCH!
Muaxxxxxxxxxxxx ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥






♥
ur' Only Princess

The.Loser

Last Wednesday setelah pulang dari assignment Mont Blanc @ Pavillion yg amat bosan i olz & Jezmonz pi terjah wayang setelah sekian lama tak pi tgk wayang mengunakan ringgit serindi * selalu dpt FOC je u olz hehe* .

Kebetulan haritu aku tersgtlah sanggap , so aku hanya mahu tgk citer yg boleh mengeletekkan pankreas aku ni coz dah terlalu tegang dgn work & bla bla bla. Maksudnye? yg kelakar ye anak2 sekalian. Jadi Jezmon cadangkan citer kt bawah ni la The Loser, Best & kelakar katenye.

Mak pon blasah je lah. Jam 6.30pm masih di opiz- show pukol 6.45pm?? ahaha gile tak gile naseb baek opiz seblah O.U je kan? we've made it on time u olz! * atas bantuan Abg driver shutter Van TV3 juge*

Nway, memule citernye perang2 manje la gitu- i olz tak nampaks pon lagi 'kekelakarannye'. coma yg namapk 'bang! bang! bang! kebabommmzzz! je dr awal-mane kelakarnyeww? kan? tgk punye tgk lelame naik syiok plaks coz they got a lil' bit here & there maksudnye ganeh+klakar+Cute! + romantik+actions make it short OK lah. Mak suke. Walauuponnn BUKAN citer kelakau sgtlah but overall i LIKE it! lagi2 laki mak ade dlm tuh, Slurppppppp so someyyyyyyyyyyyy hik! :P

Best!

Oh! Abe Jensen!

Jgnla tenung i camtu-tak keruan dibuatnye! haha

*hensem Bodo!*

grrrrr..so juicy! awww LOL

BIADAP!

STATUS FBku:

Phyzha Camarulez :HELLOW??? dont pointing ur' UGLY fingers on me dorlene, it was him u need to take care of silly. Oh! i've got an idea! *ting!* why dont u keep him inda closet? dijamin slamat :D.

Plsla yg ko nak PARANOID cam org ilang akal ni nape? OMG?? wujud lagi manusiye yg bodoh camni? Sumtimes i juz dont geddit all this people.

kenape aku berkate2 begitu keji?? kerana ade sekor babee yg sungguh BIADAP!

Ye sungguh BIADAP!

siape? sekor hanjeng liar yg sewel. sungguh babee sekali perangai menuduh aku nk laf2 dgn lakinye. HERROWW??? He is NOT up to my standards pliz? * kan aku dah tetibe nk blagak plaks? ishh*

SERIOUSLY, she's really gettin on my sweet nerve-lah! dah la aku tgh 'Bulan mengambangs' suke-suki je nk carik pasal dgn mekkkk? u're messin with da' wrong people & at the feakin wrong time honnehhh.

Wey sengal, kalau ko takot sgt laki ko tu kena usik org * which is laki ko tu yang hadoo aje ghupernye* keep him inda closet-lock-up& let him rotten! BODO.

Komen kt album gambar Kucim FB punye pasal pon ko dah meroyan nk serang2 aku pehal? ko dah nak mampos ke hape pompuan gile? *Astagfirullahhalazimmmmm...sabar--sabarrr*

Ishhh ko ni mmg dasar kaum *tut* la. Mmg agaknye korang2 ni spesis babee-tonyok kot semua kat sane tu..Arghhh GERAMlah!Qiwek tol la.

Nak habaq mai skit kt hang la naa, Fighting with me is like being in the special olympics. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard & plz oh! puhlezz tell me .. is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted? kerana kamu amat BONGOKS SEKALI.

My last but not least lil' advice to u dear PARANOID, Jealousy is a terrible disease…….Get well soon Phys-co! Muaxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Waitin

For Mr. Rainbow...

where.r.u?